Our life

I have read alot of blogs lately, talking about the differences between their *blog life* and their *real life*. I have decided to share some of my life tonight for a number of reasons. I don’t want my life to appear as “perfect”, those of you who know me IRL know that it is far from so.

Eighteen months ago my husband suffered Burn out (we were later to find out that this is the P.C name for a nervous breakdown). He has been unable to work for this time, it has been a huge battle for us, emotionally, physically and spiritually. For the past 5 months he has been suffering from depression as well.

This week has been our hardest of all. Among other things we were given 6 weeks notice on our house last weekend. I am now having to pack and find somewhere for our family to move to. (this will be our 7Th house in 5 years!)

Then on Sunday Javi developed an infection on his knee. He went to the hospital where the Dr said it wasn’t infected, just inflammed (Uh, NO!). He went to the Dr. yesterday and she said, yes it was infected and gave him antibiotics. This morning at 7 he got up to go toilet and passed out in my arms from the pain. I had to call an ambulance and he has been admitted with a major infection, they are worried about it getting in to his joint.

Life with a sick partner is not easy, add 4 little kids in to the mix and it is extremely hard at times. I love my husband today more than i ever have before. I know one day i will have my best friend back, i will see his eyes light up and hear his laughter, i know one day my kiddies will get their Daddy back, but until that time i will keep praying for him everyday.


8 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Jen said,

    Oh Jess –
    I feel for you. Men suffer from more than we realize. Depression is horribly debilitating. I’ve struggled with the postpartum kind this go round and it has not been fun. Men struggle with admitting, talking and seeking help…I will pray for you and your family. Know you are not alone out there and this is more common than you think.

  2. 2

    Jen said,

    praying for you all

    I have suffered from depression over the years so I know how hard it can be

    you are all very much in my thoughts and prayers

  3. 3

    kate5kiwis said,

    jess jess jess
    oh i am crying here.
    i have no wisdom, sending you huge love. wish i lived closer and could help you.
    I know one day i will have my best friend back, i will see his eyes light up and hear his laughter…
    babe, you are doing so well: just focussing on the *real* javi and loving him so much.
    these words are naff, but hope they express my heart. loads and loads and loads of love to you…

  4. 4

    Da Setiuz Mama said,

    Jess, God knew what he was doing when he put you and Javi together….You are a loyal, long-suffering and beautiful (in the proverbs way as well as in the flesh!!) woman. Our prayers are always with you but today they will be more specific. Thank you for sharing your struggles and success with us…it sure gives me perspective. Many huge virtual hugs to you both. Much love to Javi, keep me posted.

  5. 5

    Gillybean said,

    Thank you for sharing, My husband too has been suffering from depression and ill health so I understand a little of how you might be feeling. I am thinking of you and especially remember how difficult it was for us moving house all the time. With determination we saved a small amount of money each week for seven years. God answered my prayers one day when I drove past our house which wasn’t even for sale at the time and I said “God I wish we could buy a house like that” eight months later we bought it. I hope your child recovers quickly and you find the strength you need to pack up and move house again. I wish I knew you in “real life” you sound like someone I would really admire.

  6. 6

    melissa said,

    i’m so sorry to hear about your husband’s illness- my thoughts are with you and him for a speedy recovery!
    i can’t believe how strong and brave you are- i could take a leaf out of your book, that’s for sure!
    hope this week is a better one for you all. x

  7. 7

    Jen said,

    Happy Mothers Day Jess

  8. 8

    Mama Monk said,

    wow, jess. I know I don’t know you, but have enjoyed lurking on your blog, peaking into a beautifully lived life by a beautiful family. And knowing this about you makes you all the more beautiful. What a journey you guys are on. I am crying right now.

    About a year ago, my husband went through months of depression. And i struggled to know how to support him. I remember him saying that watching me keep living, being able to just watch life continue around him was helpful somehow.

    I can tell you are a strong woman with friends and support around you. I will pray this continues to be so and that you will be given the strength to keep living fully, to keep life going for your family.

    bless you

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